Im home from the Annual Dinner Chua's Family Gathering at workplace. Super lame. Its just a waste of time and the buffet wasn't delicious at all. =( Im glad to be home at this time- or I should say, I reached home at 9.30 pm when the dinner supposed to start at 8pm. LOL. I've got a toaster from the lucky draw. Damn! I stayed the furthest and my gift was so big...

I went out to jog at 5am in the morning today. I know that's crazy.. All thanks to Devin for waking me up in the super early morning. URGH!

Christmas countdown? What's that?

I will be spending my Christmas alone... Santa, my wish for this Christmas is to have that 'someone' to spend with me. Its about 30 minutes to Christmas Day. Would you be able to fulfill my wish?

I've got my ipod nano and J insist that it is a Christmas gift from him.. =.= I don't want to owe him anything at all!! I don't want anything to do with him. How can I tell him straight in the face? *sigh*

Mom was wearing the blue sapphire necklace I gave her and diamond earrings that Didi bought for her.

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I still had the letter that Jasper sent me last Christmas. Perhaps he'd forgotten what he'd wrote but I smiled while reading it. Everything is different now and everything seemed like a few days ago. *sigh* I hope I'm still in school, rushing for projects and assignments. Now, I don't have the chance to do these anymore. I miss those days although tiring.

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After Annual Dinner on Xmas eve, I was supposed to have a party over at his friend's place. Guess what? The thing had been postponed to some other day. The most infuriating thing is that he shoved me aside and meet up with his another friend and his ex. I took great pain to find the most suitable present for him this Christmas and he didn't even want to meet for the night. Whose the one who asked me out at first? Fine! If those people are much much more important, just go ahead. Don't come look for me okay? I will not entertain you at all from this very second.

1. My phone is giving me a lot of problems and I SWEAR I WILL NOT GET SONY ERICSSON PHONE EVER AGAIN!! Now I can't listen to music at all! I've decided to get Nano ipod so in future, I can get any phone I want to without considering too much about its functions. =D

2. My favourite pencil died on me!! Its time to change but I will still use the same brand and specifically, this model.
   
   
3. I've finally finished all the Xmas cards I have to do. I know its late and I can't send it out today as postman don't work on Sundays. =( Hopefully, it will reach you guys on time...

4. I'm in need of good novels to read!! I've practically finished Judith Gould's novels that can be found in the library. I tried to borrow novels by other writers. Dumb enough, I took a novel written by a Singapore writer. The vocabulary used is so damn simple, the description is not interesting at all and each paragraph is so short. I opened the book for the first time and started to read. Nothing seemed to be registered into my head so I closed the book. I must be tired, I thought. I tried to read the novel again- I found myself reading the same sentences over and over again although the English is so simple. Its frustrating. I gave up. Is the English too simple for me or am I just stupid? Perhaps, its just not challenging enough.

5. Im a cashier now. Or I should say, my job is a 'weed plucker' cum showroom 'in-charge' cum sales person cum cashier. In fact, I know little of all these especially when it comes to sales. I hate serving customers- demanding and problematic. I hate writing invoices cos' I don't know the plant name and their prices. I find myself irritating asking others for help, all the time... Sometimes, I don't even know this plant actually exist!!! Being a cashier sucks! When there's nothing to do, you stone. When there's something to do, you must be super alert. I hate dealing with money.
   Saturday (yesterday) was the worst day of all. I worked whole day- from 8am to 7pm. I was mentally drained, worse than working outdoors. Luckily it rained in the afternoon and therefore, lesser customers. Wahahax!! I felt so relieved when the day ended. New cashier, please come quickly to take over me...

6. Mom's birthday is tomorrow and hopefully, I can celebrate with Mom at some restaurant at Jurong Point. No, please don't rain, not today. Dad forgotten Mom's birthday as usual and he never seems to remember.

7. Not feeling well today perhaps due to the stress and lack of sleep. Acne is growing so quickly on my face and never in my life I've seen so much of it on my face. This, of course, became another factor for being stressed. LOL. Still, I went to gym just now. Training hard to keep my abs flat. Its quite difficult when I'm such a glutton. I love exercising. Anyone wants to join me?? =D
   
   
8. Annual dinner is on Christmas Eve and I was told to be present on that day. I will have to work till 5pm plus and prepare for that dinner that starts at 8pm. =.= There are only 3 toilets there and I guess everyone will be queuing for the toilet to bathe. I still have not think of what to wear cos' they said simple. How simple? I've been wearing jeans everyday and I can't possibly wear short pants for that annual dinner. I guess Im thinking too much to cause myself into this dilemma. LOL. Also, I have to leave early for a X'mas countdown party. Gosh, Im so busy!!!

I also bought a gift for Mom's birthday that's coming soon. Hope Mom likes it. =D

Moodless to blog right now. I shall stop here.

I stared at my phone for some time when I got this message. Reading it over and over again, my heart swelled. Unbidden tears formed in my eyes again. This time, I tried to hold back and smiled at the things I've done in the past. I was foolish and blinded by temptations. I was greedy and I was punished for that.

So many things swirled in my mind on my way out to the bus stop from work. I guess I was too preoccupied with thoughts to even notice a car slowed down beside me, offering to send to me to the bus stop outside. Thanks for the short and yet, free ride. =x

I dread seeing that car and I felt deathly sick whenever I walk past that car. Can someone help me destroy that car or even better, scrape that stupid car?

Leslie told me ' Beauty attracts attention, character seize the heart' and I think its really true. Everyone have a different character and its not easy to find someone whom you think suits you in terms of character, their behavior and their thinking. Everyone is different.

I will never want to be with someone whom always flood me with a sense of failure. Never again. Anyways, who likes to feel this way? However, Im glad to say that I've learnt a lot for these past 2 months.


Daphne's still feeling like a boat adrift and she's not very certain what to do. She's taking one step at a time slowly, too slowly to even feel that she's moving at all. Stuck? I hope with every step I start to take, my face will start to glow with happiness. Please touch my soul from within.



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I lost my $50 note at work place. How clever eh? Which lucky bastard picked my money?! I cursed and swear but you're lucky to have my money. Its okay. Next time I will be even luckier to pick a SGD$1000 note. Tee hee.

Its raining now and Im bored at home. Weekend nowadays are so bored. I was so bored that I made chocolate moose when I got home from work just now. If its nice, I will make more next time. hehes.

What can I do now besides surfing net and reading books??

I had a day MC yesterday for my ingrown toenail and I will be excused from wearing covered shoes for 3 weeks!!! However, it cost me a bomb to see this family doctor and I had to wait for more than an hour. In total, it cost me $42 for that stupid ingrown toenail.

The doctor also warn me that if my toe is still swollen after 2 week, I will have to undergo a small operation to get the extra nail out. FCUK!! Doctor, don't scare me, would you?

I locked my keys in my room and I was unable to find my spare key. I had to call a friend of mine to ask for her mom's number so that I can contact my mom. =.= Mom's phone is not with her while she works... Troublesome...

Took leave today and went back to school to hand in my Interim report. I waited for about 45 minutes to get my stuff printed in school. That arse hole in front of me helped his friend to print and he wasn't prepared when he wanted to print- still sitting there sorting out his documents. TMD. The whole world is waiting for him... ... ...

Wherever I go, it brings back lots of memories. I've been recalling and missing plus thinking of all the things I've done in the past. The place I used to go, the things I eat, the people I used to hang out with, the things I do with certain people...

• I miss taking bus 154 to school although its a super long journey.
• I miss lying on someone's shoulder or lap on the way to school.
• I miss going back to school, breathing the same air with a few thousand people there.
• I miss seeing Canteen 1 because it had been demolished to ground level...
• I miss bubble tea from library especially peppermint oreo although I had one just now...
• I miss mua chee and tako pachi!!!
• I miss Zesty tomato very very much especially the fish&chips and the chicken salad.
• I miss my friends...
• I miss the old LSCT cos' its under some minor construction and is kinda messy.
• I miss the times when we do FYP. Perspiring together under the hot sun, getting wet in the rain, washing our shoes stuck with mud... By the way, 'WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PATHWAYS WE USED TO DIG?!?!' It went missing and I was astonished to see it like that.
  
• I miss all of my FYP team mates. Somehow when I stood at the plot under the blazing sun, I saw everyone holding on to their tools, working their ass off. *sigh*
  
• I miss the Tom Yam soup from both Alumni and MegaBites!!!
• I miss the Seafood Pasta from MegaBites.
• I miss the chocolate croissant from SIM but it was sold out. In the end, I bought egg tarts. The apple tart that I had for dinner was delicious. I can't help but to finish it.
• I miss the first time we eat out together with our group mates near the school market and you sent me to the bus stop before we waved goodbye.

I went home and went to gym although I was quite tired. I ran for 3km only and my infected toe is really getting on my nerves!! Now, it is more swollen than before luhs. DAMN!! I should not have worn covered shoes but I need to run!! I will die without exercising.

Plus, I've been eating so much recently- thanks to my collegue (Ken Ng) who had been buying so much chocolates and titbits for break time. I can't resist temptations. Anyways, I also eat together with him and so, I had to buy more of these junk food to contribute to the daph&ken junkfood society. LOL. Oh yes. And also, he buys bubble tea for me (or rather for us to share sometimes) and I've been drinking bubble tea almost everyday!!

Thanks Ken, you shall be my bestest friend although you talk a lot. LOL.

Im back!! (for good I guess...) Its been a super uber long time I last blogged. Heartbroken and yet I can't tell anyone. I suffocated some days ago and Im fine now so Im blogging!!

Its hard to let go, I realised. After all, Im back to the same point. Not sure if I want to continue this relationship because I can't trust myself anymore (but at least Im back here). Not too certain what I want now.

After 2 months, I realised many things and I knew I became much more mature than before. I was selfish and self centered. I was blind to see all the good things around me and I let go so easily. Worse, I was so determined and confident that I won't ever regret.

How many times I cried for feeling so crestfallen. Im weak, very weak now. I need someone to love and care for me but Im afraid I would break that someone's heart.

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Boys Like Girls - Two Is Better Than One

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something

'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, we're leaving

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey

Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking

Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one
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Dashboard Confessional - Belle Of The Boulevard

Down in a local bar
Out on the boulevard
The sound of an old guitar
Is saving you from sinking
It's a long way down
It's a long way

Back like you never broke
You tell a dirty joke
He touches your leg and thinks he's getting close
For now you let him just this once
Just for now
And just like that - it's over

[Chorus]
Don't turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid
Keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard

In all your silver rings
And all your silken things
That song you softly sing - is keeping you from breaking
It's a long way down
It's a long way

Back here you never loved
You shake the shivers off
You take a drink to get your courage up
Can you believe it
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It's over

[Chorus]

Please hold on - it's alright
Please hold on - it's alright
Please hold on

Down in a local bar
Out on the boulevard
The sound of an old guitar
is saving you

[Chorus]
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The lyrics of these 2 songs are poignant and describes exactly how I feel.

I wanted to go for a run but Im feeling too bloated to even sleep. I feel so fat nowadays. =(

5 Nov 09 at 1.37pm
Im stuck at work but Im not working. In fact, slacking. Although it is my first time, it felt so great. In addition, boss isn't around and its pouring heavily outside.

Im stuck in the greenhouse, sitting on the metal bar below one of the troughs. All I could hear is the rain drops falling heavily onto the ground and water falling continuously from the side of the greenhouse, giving a mini waterfall effect. Its noisy..

Im sitting alone, thinking about many things. J was so furious with me and I think he's right. Im naive, very naive.

I went to a seminar on Sunday with Leslie in town. Afterwards, I met my parents, brother and his friends together with Leslie at The Grand Cathay for dinner at Nihon Mura. We ordered not a lot but was feeling bloated halfway...

So many things happened recently. Was so upset at work that I cried. I tried my best in the tasks given to me but was not appreciated at all. In one day, I got scolded by the boss, lady boss and boss's daughter. They are seriously ridiculous. The Chua family love to lose their temper and scold their workers. Im the most suay attachment student ever.

The staff there looked at me in wide eyes when I got scolded because they knew I was innocent. Boss and lady boss were about to quarrel so lady boss scolded me so she could get away with it. Fuck man. suay or wad??

Im waiting for Yi ai to upload her pictures into the facebook. Hopefully, it will be done soon.

Yesterday was a Saturday. Usually, I have to wake up at 5.45am to prepare for work. However, yesterday I was having NAPFA and I wokee up at 6am. I took school leave from work. Knowing that there's no work, I was so reluctant to get up of bed.

I slept early the night before but I was still feeling so exhausted. I had to ask Yi ai to bring chicken essence for me cos' I've already left house. =.= I told myself 'Im getting a Gold for NAPFA today and it is a must'. I don't want to disappoint myself because I've been getting gold since secondary school.

I tried my best although in some of the 5 stations, I only aimed from a mere A cos' I didn't want to waste too much energy. The sun was quite sunny and weather was rather warm. Not windy, the air was kinda stiff at times.




Sit ups: 32
Sit and reach: 58cm
Standing broad jump: 192cm
Incline pull ups: 18
Shuttle run: 10.8s
2.4km run: 13.58min

In the end, I completed NAPFA with a Gold- 29/30 points and I am so proud of myself. =D


After that, we went out to celebrate XL's birthday at some Italian restaurant at Liang Court. We went to Mind's cafe to play games and had dinner at some Chinese stall. Food was nice and I lost count of how much I spent yesterday. LOL.

At Mind's cafe, one of the games we played was 'True Colours'. There's a deck of cards with questions and each person had to vote for the another party that you think he/ she would most likely to be doing what is stated on the question card.

I could remember a few about what my friends think about me like... Im the most likely person to be brought along with for a 30 day tour, Im the most determined person within my cliques, Im the one with most boyfriends, Im the one whom they think I would most likely to sleep au natural (naked), Im the most likely person to have sexy lingerie...

No, Im not the one with the most votes. Ithiel was the one. LOL. If Jasper was around, I bet he'd have the most votes throughout the game.

Met up with Leslie in the middle of the night. We went to eat Popeyes at Changi Airport T1. The Popeyes there tasted better than the ones in Marina. Perhaps it depends on who Im eating with... Getting super fat!! I ate the whole day.. *kowtow to myself* =x

I hope I can be on diet but I can't. Im not determined in this area. Can't resist temptations. =(

.Daphne Tan.
.27 Sept 1989.
.Has got sweet tooth.
.Always in holiday mood.
.Oblivious.
.Forgetful.
.Dislikes children.